To Feel Absolutely Nothing (Would Be Heaven)
by maybewesortoosoon
Summary: Lily goes on an outing with her brother and his friend, taking along her god-daughter for the ride.


Albus knocked on his sister bedroom door.

"One minute!" Lily called out. She set down the paintbrush on her workbench and wiped her hands on her smock.

She slid the bolt of the lock on her door across, and opened it.

"What do you want?" she asked archly.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come with me and Scorp to a carnival tomorrow afternoon."

"I would rather not. Besides, I agreed to babysit Mia for Roxanne; give her some time off."

"So we'll take Mia with us. I'm sure there'll be something for a two-year old to do there."

"Why do you so desperately want me to come so much?" she raised her eyebrow.

"Because you're giving us a lift." her older brother grinned.

She sighed. "Let me Floo Roxanne. I'll ask her if she minds."

"When will you give me an answer?"

"You'll have to submit a request, in writing. Expect a reply in three to five business days." she responded dryly, shutting the door in her brother's face and going back to her painting of a dock.

* * *

She Flooed Roxanne that night. Roxanne was happy to let Mia go, as long as she got some time to herself. After all, alone time was sacred when raising a toddler.

Actually, Roxanne had made a rather sly comment about Scorpius. "Are you planning to sweep Scorpius off his feet with the hot babysitter act?"

Lily had blushed. "Oh god, Roxanne. Besides, you know that he doesn't swing that way."

"All those summers spent in Al's bedroom definitely led to something." Roxanne grinned.

"Not to mention that they shared a dorm for seven years." Lily laughed.

* * *

Lily's alarm clock went off at eleven in the morning. She was the type to stay up all night doing something creative and then sleep all day while she was at home for the holidays.

Lily drove to the small studio apartment in which Roxanne lived. She had dug out a car seat from the Potters' attic and put it in her car.

"Don't destroy anything while I get Mia, hey?" she quipped.

Lily knocked on the door of Roxanne's flat.

"One min- Mia Weasley! Do not throw that block at Mummy!"

Roxanne opened the door, looking somewhat flustered.

"Sorry Lils. We're running a little late this afternoon."

"No problemo." Lily smiled, stepping into the apartment.

"Mia! How's my favourite god-daughter?" Lily swept Mia into her arms. "Ready to go?" she asked the toddler.

"She needs to get her socks and shoes on." Roxanne said.

"She's got one sock on." muttered Lily. "Come on Mia baby, where's the other one?"

* * *

Albus and Scorpius seemed to be enjoying themselves on the rollercoasters and 'grown-up rides' while Lily felt rather humiliated as she went on the smaller, tamer rides with Mia.

"Come on Mia, it's time to go." Lily gently led Mia away from the clown she was watching. "We're going to find Al and Scorpius."

She found her brother and his friend at the front of the line for the Ferris Wheel.

"We're going!" she called. "Mia's getting tired."

"Come on Lils, wait ten minutes?"

Lily watched as the ride operators slowly filled up the Ferris Wheel.

As it was filling up, it stopped as Albus' and Scorpius' car was at the top. She watched on as the two began to kiss.

She closed her eyes and thought, If only that were Scorpius and I.

She re-opened them to find that Mia had left her side. "Damn it!" she cursed angrily.

She found Mia slowly making her way back to the performing clown. "MIA!" she shouted, letting her anger get the better of her. "How dare you run away from me. Naughty girl!" she admonished, ignoring Mia as she began to wail. She picked up the toddler and hurried back to the car.

"Teenage mums." one woman shook her head. "Disgusting. No idea how to parent."

"I'm not even her bloody parent!" she yelled at the woman.

She reached the carpal, tripping on a rock as she stormed towards the car. "Shit!" she cursed again, far too incensed at this point to care that Mia was listening.

She put Mia in the booster seat and plonked herself into the front seat.

"Hey Mia?" she said to the grumpy toddler. "Never have kids. And don't waste your time with boys; they're far too troublesome."

They say gingers have no soul, reflected Lily as she sat waiting in the car. Does that mean they can't feel emotions? I wish that were true. I wish Scorpius would reciprocate. But he never will. Am I destined for a life of loneliness?

* * *

_Written for the Through the Trapdoor Challenge, using the extra challenge._

_Written for the Doctor Who Appreciation Competition - Martha Jones: Write about unrequited love._


End file.
